Cold, Hard Communication

How often do you communicate? Really communicate? Probably not as often as you’d like to think. How often do you set out to communicate the most (seemingly) simple information only to find that you didn’t say anything you meant to?

Don’t feel bad. Everyone else has experienced the same problem, probably more often than not. We set the stage for these grand conversations and interchanges in our minds, preparing for a battle of words – but then we show up to the fight without a weapon in sight.

As a modern culture we seem to shy away from any and all confrontations. We don’t want the responsibility of disillusioning someone else’s perceptions of reality. Instead we snark quietly behind closed doors as our statements fall on ineffective ears.

Use your words with purpose. If you don’t say what needs to be said, who will? And, if someone is speaking for you – are you certain that they’re using your words? Probably not.

No one can, or will, say what you need to say.

Silence is heavy, and saturated with unmet desires.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. 
~George Bernard Shaw

The Summer of My Discontent

Ever notice that as the mercury rises, so does that innate sense of restlessness? There's just something about the heat that makes one want to shed their current life and go live somewhere else, as someone else - preferably on a beach with no responsibilities.... 

This year though, that discontent is different for me - more visceral than dreams of the ocean. Maybe it was Spring's near-death experience, maybe it's that I'm nearing 30 - but this year, I find myself just wanting more of my own life. I want to live larger. (I know, you that wasn't possible but I assure you it is.) I need to be more me, more of the time. 

I find myself often shrinking so that others are more comfortable with their lives. I just don't see the benefit in that anymore. I'm tired of tapping down my emotions instead of tapping into them. I'm tired of keeping my thoughts to myself. I'm tired of pretending I don't want what I want. 

Change is a good thing, right? It breeds progress....

Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.

--Thomas Edison

Getting Back To Business

After a bit of a hiatus, I am attempting to get back to this whole blogging thing. Last month was full of surgery, infections, and time down. Perhaps I should have taken that time to actually write, but for once in my life I was either (a) too tired or (b) too sick to actually write. Weird.

So, I apologize for my absence and promise to try and be a bit more attentive.

At any rate, it's time for some levity....

This weekend has been full of graduations and parties. A great time for reflection on the future for those both young and old. My darling little cousin graduated high school this weekend, and of course that makes me remember (once again) that nothing stays the same, and that I'm getting old....

I'm encouraged by the excitement of those who are now embarking on the next phase of their lives. They're positive and full of hope. It's my sincere hope that they never lose that joy. 

So to all the graduates:

I hope your dreams take you...
to the corners of your smiles,
to the highest of your hopes,
to the windows of your opportunities,
and to the most special places your heart has ever known.

Protect Your Passion

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Harold Whitman

Do you live your passion? Truly live it? Or, do you simply struggle to get through each day trying to make ends meet? Most of us get so focused on day-to-day tasks and demands that we forget what it is that once made us feel alive. Too often that thing that made us feel thrilled to start each day anew, becomes a looming dread. We are robbed of our passion by our own inattention. 

How then do you continue to live your passion each day while protecting its existence? 

I've made a career out of living my passion, and following its lead. But this is no easy task. Working your passion is something that requires being aware of its existence and its needs. Because if there's one thing I've discovered, it's that your passion has needs. 

Day-to-day work can be draining. The constraints, too restrictive. Your passion becomes stilted and small. Unrequited. Unfulfilled. 

Misery soon sets in. 

Your passion, then, must be protected. Your daily work isn't your passion. It might be a glimpse of your passion, but it's not the whole story. Your passion must be larger than your work or your work will consume your passion. Find what you're good at, what you love to do - and do it, but don't make it all about work or you'll have nothing to live for.

Trial & Error

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."

-Samuel Beckett

I'm quite inspired by failure. Not the passive, laissez faire failure of inactivity or disinterest but rather the deliberate failure driven by the willingness to risk everything for a chance at success. After all, success is rare. Given the odds, one is far more likely to fail than to succeed no matter the endeavor. That being said, failure in and of itself isn't particularly interesting. But deliberate and purposeful failure derived from throwing oneself completely into the task at hand - now, that is inspiring.

To fail completely one must do completely. Deliberate failure takes courage and creativity. After all, to fail so thoroughly one must be utterly consumed with the exercise of doing. Trying alone isn't enough.

How could such dedication and determination, not be inspiring?

So, give yourself permission to fail. Be deliberate. Fail often, fail better, fail harder.